Miller: Holiday hijinks abound

Published 2:44 pm Tuesday, November 30, 2021

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Small slivers of sunlight greeted me as I opened my eyes on this cool November morning. Thoughts started to form as the remnants of a dream cleared my head.

Monday. Write column. Tweak decorations on the tree. Go to lunch with Kathy and Debbie for Kathy’s birthday.

My slippered feet half stumbled to the kitchen in search of that first cup of coffee. Even through the Bible clearly alludes to the fact that men should be in charge of coffee, thus Hebrews, I usually find myself up brewing a pot. I suppose I really don’t mind since my hubby is away so much with his work, and I’ve been an early riser for many years.

After a few minutes of sipping and reading my devotion on my Bible App, I realized the clock was spinning pretty quickly, and I had better get a move on if I wanted to meet the girls in time for our little lunch trip. Time has a way of getting away from me so I usually try to get ready early in order not to arrive late!

I arrived at Kathy’s house right on time. We hopped in her car and rolled around the corner to pick Debbie up. and off we went on our little shopping lunch trip. We laughed and chatted on the way and arrived at our destination just as I received an important text that I needed to respond to.

The girls went in to the craft store while I stayed in the car a minute to finish my business. I took care of my correspondence pretty quickly and picked up my wallet in case I found something to purchase, but funny thing was the car door wouldn’t open. I tried it several times, but not a thing happened.

What could I do except crawl over the seat to get to the driver’s side controls to escape? With Thanksgiving behind us I was wearing stretchy pants so at least I could maneuver without popping a button! I have to admit it was a little awkward trying to get over the seat into the front, but I finally did it. My glasses were in the backseat, however, and the markings on the steering wheel were small.

After a few attempts to unlock the door I went with the push any button you can find approach. Well … this didn’t work out so well. Soon the flashers were on and the horn was honking! And I was only halfway in the front seat, really, so I’m certain my fellow shoppers were getting an eye full as well as an ear full!

Finally, I got the horn to quit honking, but the backup lights wouldn’t turn off. Sheepishly I made my way into the store wondering why in the world I didn’t stand in the parking lot to take care of my business. I found the girls, and fortunately they were almost finished with their shopping, but we all had a big laugh at my escapade!

Jan Penton Miller can be reached at