Do you ever feel stuck in a bad habit, toxic relationship, or thought pattern? I guess we all do at times. When I let myself succumb to worry the results are almost laughable. Usually, I am a pretty decisive person. I like to make a decision and get the job done. But lately I’ve been stuck in worry mode, which really slows me down.

The effects of worrying about situations I cannot change are never positive. The laughable part concerns our study remodel. After moving into our lovely new home we realized that our taste differed from the previous owners. Some things we really loved — others…not so much.

The small study had been formerly used as a workout room. I never could quite understand why the previous owners had a flag secured to the wall, but everyone has different ideas, and it did belong to them. Funny thing was when we removed it the paint was a different color under the flag mount. I didn’t need much encouragement to paint the boring white a more interesting color.

Now comes the unusual part. It has literally taken me weeks to pick out a paint color. What should have been a simple task has taken up way too much of my time. I have been to the paint store to get samples so many times the workers probably all know my face if not my name!

Sunday afternoon I decided it was now or never. I would pick out a paint color, good, bad, or ugly! The main thought I had was not to choose a color too dark, which tends to make a small space look smaller. I had ruminated over trying to find the perfect match to bring out an accent color in the rug so many times, and I never seemed to be able to find the one that was absolute perfection, so guess what? I just gave up and picked a color.

And it’s a nice color. The once drab and boring white has been replaced with a soft, warm yellow. It may not accent the rug, but it makes me feel happy just to walk into the room. I thought about how I had practically obsessed over something as unimportant as a paint color, and in trying to find the perfect color I made an important observation.

People aren’t perfect, and relationships aren’t either. There are just some things that I can’t fix no matter how much I want to and how hard I try. That is the thing about life; sometimes it’s rather messy.

My searching for perfection in a paint color and the way I worried over it caused me to understand that I was trying to make at least something turn out exactly right. I don’t like drama in any form. What’s a girl to do when someone tries to suck her into the chaos of his or her life?

Love from a distance, and pick a paint color.

Jan Penton Miller can be reached at lilsisjan@yahoo.com.