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Sniff, sniff. Hmmm, I wonder what that sour smell in the closet is? I know. I have some Febreze somewhere. I hunted around the house until I located the product and sprayed it liberally all throughout the closet thinking the unpleasant smell would soon be a thing of the past.

The next morning I woke up to a chilly house and decided to put on my fuzzy robe and slippers while the house warmed up. When I opened the closet door the smell rushed out and assaulted my nostrils.

This is ridiculous! I wonder if Mike put some smelly shoes in here the last time he was home? I know he unpacked some things that had been in storage for a while. That must be it! The closet didn’t get a funky smell until he added the last load of his things.

So, I blamed my sour closet on Mike and moved his shoes to another closet after spraying them quite liberally with the flowery scented spray once more. Then I moved the last lot of clothing he had moved in and repeated the spraying regimen. I felt quite satisfied with myself for taking charge of the smelly situation, but my pleasure didn’t last for long.

My daughter, Melinda, came over and we discussed the situation.

“Just go in there and take a whiff,” I said.

“Oh my gosh, Mom. Mike must have really left his things in storage too long. That smell is awful.”

“I know, right? But hopefully the closet will air out by tomorrow. I guess I’ll try to launder all his things before putting them back.”

When I got ready for bed I thought I caught a whiff of something musty in my room so I decided to sleep in another bedroom for the night. The next morning I walked into my room to get ready for the day, and a nauseating wave hit me in the face as I opened my door. I quickly slammed the door, and realization dawned on me. Something had died in the attic above my closet!

I called the exterminator and got the news.

“Sorry ma’am, but we don’t remove dead animals. You can buy something online and sprinkle it on the animal. That will usually take the smell away, or you could just wait. The smell will be gone in a week or so.”

This was definitely not what I wanted to hear, but all is well. My neighbor loaned me a fan for the window to draw the smell out. How he entered the room without a gas mask I’ll never know, but I am so thankful that he did. It’s been a few days now, and the smell is almost gone.

I suppose I got a little carried away thinking that Mike’s shoes and clothes were the culprits. My neighbor got a big laugh at the entire ordeal.

“Isn’t that just like a woman? Blame even a dead rat on the husband!”

Jan Penton Miller can be reached at lilsisjan@yahoo.com.